What’s your Plan? Become a Parent or Produce a Good Human Being

If I had to do it all over again, I would freeze my eggs when I was around 25 year old and move on to live my full life as it has been, become the person I am today and decide to parent a child as I stand today. I might be 53 years old, but I am mentally stable, financially secured, emotionally balanced, physically sound & I believe I would be in a better place today than then to have nurtured my 3 children into better human beings. 

My children are good, responsible adults today but the fact is, they are who they are despite shitty parents, who knew nothing better than to mess them up in ways that even today, they struggle to find their hard ground. So, what the hell are we actually thinking when we decide to have babies? It is our selfish reason to label ourselves as “Parents” while in real, the clear reason should be to “Produce good human beings”. 

When we have a baby, we do not get a handbook along with it, a manual that tells us to know better on things that are important for the child. This is a known fact right from the Adam and Eve times, no woman has pushed a baby out of her vagina and then further pushed a manual along with it. So we bloody well are clear that there is no real guide for us to be good parents. So why the fuck take the chances? 

Life is one of the biggest teachers in this world. When you live your life doing all that your heart desires, you make mistakes, you slip, you fall, you get up, dust yourselves and keep going but through this journey, you become better informed individuals, your mistakes make you redo your life in so many different levels that given some time, you will know that you are matured enough to ensure that a new born becomes into an good individual of its own. Take decisions for it keeping in mind not what you want for it but what they would need going ahead. 

Becoming a parent is not the end goal for anyone and especially women. If anything, if parenting is what you desire to do, then give yourself the time and live your life enough to have learnt to be a parent. 

Today, if I had to raise a child:

  1. I would look at every aspect of the things that are done for it, from the child’s perspective and not mine
  2. I would show the child the value for time, money & every resource that they have and value it enough to respect it and know what it means to earn it
  3. I would build a routine that is best for the child for it to love its own self (mind. body & soul) above others around, including it’s parents. 
  4. I would teach the child to build a healthy relationship with food from the very first meal it has. To eat just as much as they need and not as much as they want. To eat when only hungry and eat right
  5. I would make the child understand that there is a bigger picture for its whole life and the child needs to understand its place in this universe from a young age and have gratitude for the same

Do you think you are a good parent for your child? 

Do you think you can change some things beginning now?

Do you think your child deserves better nurturer?





One response to “What’s your Plan? Become a Parent or Produce a Good Human Being”

  1. Hamsavardhan Avatar

    Well articulated article, Salma ji.
    It is unfortunate that most couple become or decide to become parents when they are least ready or prepared for it. Parenting as craft is given the least amount of thought and care.
    To add insult to injustice, the parents also use the child as a punch bag and a garbage bin for their own insecurities and phobias!!

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