My Five-Year Truth. My Sixth-Year Promise.
On 6th December 2024, I stood exactly where I had stood four years earlier, with the same dream, the same fire, and the same stubborn belief that this would be the year.
The year I touched 65 kilos.
The year I completed my book Fat to Fit.
The year I created a life with boundaries, safety, and stability, a life where nothing and no one could manipulate my emotions, derail my routines, or shake my balance.
I started the fifth year with discipline, coaching, clarity and an optimism I had never felt before.
I was 78.6 kilos, close enough to my goal to taste it.
I was confident. I was guided. I had identified my triggers. And I truly believed that this time, nothing could break me.
But life had other plans.
And this year became the hardest, most brutally honest mirror of all.
1. The First Truth: Menopause Is Not a Myth. It Is a Storm
From childhood we hear, “When you grow older, it becomes difficult to lose weight.”
In my early years of this fitness journey, I denied that. I proved it wrong.
But now, after 5 years of it, the truth hit me in ways I was not prepared for.
Peri-menopause and menopause are not emotional excuses, they are biological earthquakes.
Suddenly:
• Eating “little” was not enough.
• A little salt caused bloating overnight.
• Wrong timing meant instant weight gain.
• Travel disrupted my entire eating routines.
• A week of discipline could be undone in 48 hours.
My body wasn’t betraying me. It was simply tired after decades of surviving my old life. This entire year has taught me one hard, non-negotiable truth:
Food is everything. What I eat, how much I eat, and when I eat. These three things decide my entire health at this age.
I didn’t want this to be true, but it is. Accepting it changed everything.
2. The Second Truth: People Cannot Be My Stability
My entire life, I’ve loved with a full heart.
Loved as a mother, a partner, a friend, a giver, a nurturer, so deeply that even when I was hurt, I continued giving.
But this year broke something open inside me.
I realised this brutal truth:
At this stage in life, a soft heart is a dangerous thing.
Because when people disappoint you, when they pull away, when they take without giving, when they don’t return even 1% of what they received, the fall is always mine.
And when my heart breaks, my routine breaks.
My diet breaks.
My mental balance breaks.
My sleep breaks.
And eventually — I break.
So this year taught me something painfully necessary:
It is okay to be alone.
It is okay to not receive.
It is okay to not expect.
It is okay to be your own anchor.
Even today, two days before my anniversary, I woke up sad.
Not lonely — but alone.
Not weak — but vulnerable.
And I allowed myself to feel it.
Because suppressing pain is what derails me, not facing it.
3. The Third Truth: Strength Training Is the Only Thing Holding Me Together
Walking is my meditation. But weights are my survival.
Every time I skipped strength training, my joints tightened.
My flexibility dropped. My energy dipped.
Even my confidence felt shaky.
At this age, with menopause changing everything inside me, I learned:
Strength training is not optional. It is the foundation.
It is what keeps me able to walk.
It is what keeps my metabolism alive.
It is what holds my body together when hormones try to pull it apart.
If I had skipped weights completely, I wouldn’t be standing where I am today.
4. The Fourth Truth: Build Your Own Life, No One Is Building It With You
This was my biggest awakening.
I started the year by deciding to build my professional journey alone, no partner, no emotional support system, no hand to hold.
And I did build. I earned projects, delivered value, and stood tall.
But in this journey, I also learned something uncomfortable:
No one is “collaborating.”
No one is “partnering.”
Everyone is looking out for themselves.
“Collaborative growth” is a marketing line. In reality, people collaborate only when your strength benefits their portfolio.
Depending on others, emotionally or professionally, was one of my biggest triggers this year.
Every disappointment pulled me away from my health.
Every imbalance spilled into my food, my routine, my self-belief.
This year taught me:
Build your own place in this world.
Your own voice.
Your own credibility.
Your own income.
Your own identity.
No one is coming to save me.
But I am enough to save myself.
⸻
5. The Fifth Truth: So What If I Failed This Year? The Story Isn’t Over.
Yes — I didn’t reach 65 kilos.
Yes — I didn’t finish the book.
Yes — I didn’t become my strongest version.
Yes — I slipped, I fell, I got lost, I broke down.
But so what?
I spent 50 years being unhealthy.
I spent five years learning, unlearning, falling, rising.
Transformation is not a straight line.
And falling back to square one is not failure, it is a reminder of how strong I truly am.
Because I may be back to the same weight I was last year on this day.
But I am not the same woman.
Not the same emotional patterns.
Not the same naivety.
Not the same blind giver.
Not the same people-pleaser.
Not the same woman who needed others to hold her.
I am stronger.
Sharper.
More aware.
More awake.
More mine.
The Sixth Year — My Promise to Me
The coming year, from 6th Dec 2025 to 6th Dec 2026, will be my becoming year.
This is the year I reach my ideal weight.
This is the year I finish my book.
This is the year I build the healthiest, strongest, most emotionally grounded version of myself.
This is the year I look in the mirror every morning and say:
“This is not how my story ends.
I get to rewrite it. Every single day.”
I will not let food, relationships, rejection, fear, or old heartbreaks derail me.
I will not let a slip become a fall.
I will not let my heart lead me into places my mind cannot survive.
And if it means standing alone, then alone is where I will rise.
Because I may be back at square one. But I am never going back to who I was.
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